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Humour

The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance.  I was like, 'If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl!
-- Chris Rock

Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow.
-- Chris Rock
[subsequently sacked over this remark]

David Beckham won't go to Newcastle after what the Toon Army did in Asia.
-- Rodney Marsh

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
-- Chris Rock

My father was a simple man.  My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
-- Chic Murray

[The Color Test]
[
The Virus]
[
New PC Phrases for Women]
[
What Women Really Mean]
[
What am I?]
[
Are you Usual or Unusual?]
[
Your Computer is Psychic]

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